• Welcome to Elio Owners! Join today, registration is easy!

    You can register using your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account, just click here.

Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Ekh

Ekh

Elio Addict
Joined
May 2, 2014
Messages
3,794
Reaction score
9,525
Location
Loveland OH
champsman said:
Two blondes are in a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first woman.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the game warden.

"But officer," replied the second girl, "we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The game warden lifted up the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," shrugged the game warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the game warden left.

As soon as he was out of sight, the women started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop! Doesn't he know that there are steelheads in this river?!"
Click to expand...
rimshot
 
Ekh

Ekh

Elio Addict
Joined
May 2, 2014
Messages
3,794
Reaction score
9,525
Location
Loveland OH
A blonde looks at a sports magazine, and falls in love with ice fishing. She trots round to Dicks and kits herself out with a tip-up, a cute steel thermos, and a little stool to sit on, just like the pictures. Then she starts looking for a place to fish. Where to go?

It dawns on her! And off she goes to the nearest body of frozen water.

She starts to set up her stuff, and a Voice rolls out from the heavens: "There are no fish under the ice!"

She moves about 10 yards and starts to set her stuff up again. And again, this enormous voice booms out. "There are still no fish under the ice!"

The blonde shakes her head. Then she says in a not-too-loud voice, "Are you God?"

"No, I'm the rink manager and there are NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
 
Last edited:
bowers baldwin

bowers baldwin

Elio Addict
Joined
May 2, 2014
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
4,667
506b983e3520f88f76c60743a6713040.jpg
 
Coss

Coss

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Sep 5, 2014
Messages
11,100
Reaction score
16,396
Location
Battle Ground WA
Midnight Urges

Wife: Oh, come on.

Husband: Leave me alone!

Wife: It won't take long.

Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Wife: I can't sleep without it.

Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Wife: Because I'm Hot.

Husband: You get hot at the darnedest times.

Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.

Wife: You don't love me anymore.

Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Wife: (Sob-Sob)

Husband: Alright, I'll do it.

Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Husband: I can't find it.

Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!

Husband: There! Are you satisfied?

Wife: Oh, yes, honey.

Husband: Is it up far enough?

Wife: Oh, that's fine.

Husband: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

:drum:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom