-
Welcome to Elio Owners! Join today, registration is easy!
You can register using your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account, just click here.
Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Ty
Elio Addict
I don't know why they call them drug deals... that shit is expensive.
ross
Elio Addict
What's a man with a 10 inch cock have for breakfast?
Well this morning I had bacon and eggs, yesterday I had sausage and eggs, sometimes I only have toast and coffee.
Well this morning I had bacon and eggs, yesterday I had sausage and eggs, sometimes I only have toast and coffee.
ross
Elio Addict
A girl walks into her boyfriends apartment just as he's getting out of the shower, toweling himself off. She's never seen a man naked before so she freaks, goes to her family doctor and says 'I've just seen my boyfriend naked for the first time and I don't understand anything about male anatomy, what's that long appendage he has hanging between his legs?' Doctor says 'that's called the penis in medical terms, there's other slang terms for it but it's known as the penis.' Ok she says 'and what's the purple thing on the end of the penis?' Well the doctor says 'that's known as the head of the penis' Ok she says 'and what's the two round appendages situated about 22 inches back from the head of the penis?' Doc says 'lady I don't know about him but on me it's the cheeks of my ass.'
bunchathrees
Elio Addict
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
Rob Croson
Elio Addict
That is awesome! 
RUCRAYZE
Elio Addict
ouch! but funny
Single Women vs Married Women
Why are married women usually heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
Why are married women usually heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting.
He spotted a small black bear and shot it.
There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear.
The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex."
Jon decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it.
Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.
The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon.
You've got two choices.
Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex."
Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered.
Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder.
He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there.
The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
He spotted a small black bear and shot it.
There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear.
The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex."
Jon decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it.
Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.
The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon.
You've got two choices.
Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex."
Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered.
Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder.
He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there.
The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"