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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Ty

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freaky-epic-fail-photos-food-win.jpg
 

Coss

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Wedding Tattoo

Brian and Cindy Blossom were about to have their first wedding anniversary and Cindy wanted to do something special.

She decided to get a tattoo because Brian thought they were very sexy.

She goes to the tattoo parlor and can't decide on a design, so she decides to get Brian's initials BB tattooed on her butt.

She gets a B on each cheek.

She goes home and waits for Brian to come home.

When she hears his car pull into the driveway, she drops her pants bends over and grabs her ankles making her new tattoo the first thing he sees when he walks in.



The door opens, her husband walks in and with an angered look on his face he yells "WHO THE HELL IS BOB?"
 

champsman

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A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
The man goes on, encounters another passerby and says, "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America."
The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks farther The next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for wonderful America!"
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am not American."
He finally sees a woman and asks, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Africa."
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African woman checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."
 
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