Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Happy and Safe 4th everyone...




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As I sit here listening the steady percussions of multiple fireworks I thought this might be appropriate!



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or maybe this one is even better...



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That's my neighbourhood, I've been listening to it for the last 3 days, today is the worst, and I've only heard the ambulance twice.
I wish it would stop for a while. Reminds me of a fire fight back in Nam'

An elderly man visits a doctor for a checkup. "Mr. Smith, you're in great shape," the doctor tells him when the exam is over. "How do you do it?"

"Well," says the patient, "I don't drink, I don't smoke and the Good Lord looks out for me! For weeks now, every time I go the
bathroom in the middle of the night, he turns on the light for me."

Concerned the doctor heads out to the waiting room, approaches Mrs. Smith and tells her what her husband said.

"I don't think that's anything to worry about," she says. "And on the bright side, it DOES explain who’s' been peeing in the fridge."

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Did you hear about the blonde who went in to an auto parts store looking for a "710" cap?

Is that a Nissan? I haven't heard of anyone looking for parts for 1 for a long time.
That was the big car, aka Like a Limo right?