-
Welcome to Elio Owners! Join today, registration is easy!
You can register using your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account, just click here.
Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
DigitalDan
Elio Enthusiast
...or 2016
CompTrex
Elio Addict
3rd Wheel
It Worked on the Other Side
One night, a man and his wife were watching TV.
It was about breast implants.
The wife said, ”I wish I had bigger breast.”
The man said, ”You don’t have to get silicone breasts, just wipe between your breast with toilet paper.”
"How would that work?" asked the wife.
The man said, "Well, you have been wiping your butt for 50 years and it's gotten bigger."
One night, a man and his wife were watching TV.
It was about breast implants.
The wife said, ”I wish I had bigger breast.”
The man said, ”You don’t have to get silicone breasts, just wipe between your breast with toilet paper.”
"How would that work?" asked the wife.
The man said, "Well, you have been wiping your butt for 50 years and it's gotten bigger."
A woman walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Sir, do you have cotton balls?"
Pharmacist replies, "Lady, do I look like a teddy bear to you?"
Pharmacist replies, "Lady, do I look like a teddy bear to you?"
Wedding Night Gift
The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals, a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist, were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed, with alternating current of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the following note: DEAR FRIENDS, WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED. THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK.
BUT I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT NOVOCAIN IN THE K-Y JELLY!"
The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals, a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist, were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed, with alternating current of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the following note: DEAR FRIENDS, WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED. THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK.
BUT I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT NOVOCAIN IN THE K-Y JELLY!"
ross
Elio Addict
Do you know what a truly satisfied woman says after having sex?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Did you ever see the serial number on a condom?
Never had to unroll one that far huh?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Did you ever see the serial number on a condom?
Never had to unroll one that far huh?
ross
Elio Addict
A guy is complaining to his buddy that his married sex life was getting dull and boring, his buddy says 'well you ought to try a new position. You ever try the wheelbarrow position?' "What's that?" Buddy says 'that's where you pick her up by the legs, slip inside her and away you go'. The guy goes home and suggests this to his wife and she says 'I'll let you try it under two conditions, one if it hurts you got to stop and two you've got to promise we won't go by moms house.'
Mel
Elio Addict
Statistics show that 97% of people masturbate in the shower. The other 3% sing.
Know what song they sing?......
..............
..............
..............
..............
...............
..............
I didn't think so!
Know what song they sing?......
..............
..............
..............
..............
...............
..............
I didn't think so!
