I have been licensed 45 years, took a 20 year break from motorcycles to raise kids. I've ridden 30k miles this year (this year's big trip was CO> AK by way of FL and ME. What can I say? GPS told me to turn right...) and it's only August. I have experience but that in no way is meant to imply I'm an expert.
But I have to say, your post confuses me - you want to hear from those who wiped out, or nearly so, to convince your wife riding is safe? If they lived, it's ok? Pardon my bluntness, but your life is a serious subject!
Awareness is a necessity, but it's only the first of many. Trailing a buddy by about 75 yards through the twisties in April, we had slowed down for a tight hairpin when a deer came from BEHIND him, caught up and pushed him over. That deer was never in his field of vision so awareness wouldn't have helped. What saved him was ATGATT - All The Gear, All The Time. The face shield on his full-face helmet looked like somebody had taken a grinder to it after he log-rolled under the bike while it slid forward for what seemed like an eternity - 4 broken ribs, sprained knee, but no road rash.
On the other hand, we almost lost a rider in our HOG chapter (Harley Owners Group) last year - swerved to avoid a red-light runner but lost control and low-sided at low speed. Hospital cleaned him up and sent him home, 2 days later he was back with severe sepsis likely caused by all the grit/grime/debris embedded in his skin because he was riding in jeans and a t-shirt. He spent more than a week in ICU and damn near died - just now riding again after a year and a half. Are you prepared to wear full protective gear in the FL heat, all of the time, or are you willing to risk asphalt burns that can kill you through infections? Many do, but you have to be willing to acknowledge and accept the risks. To compound the issue, this particular rider had never taken any rider safety training, so had never done any avoidance training. Would it have helped? Maybe...
You mention riding with friends as a good thing. OK, are they skilled, are they responsible, can everyone resist the temptation to show off? In SCUBA diving, we talk about "trust me" dives - letting someone lead you to a dive that is beyond your training/skill/ comfort level - will your friends pressure you to follow, or slow for the least skilled rider? If there's pressure, will you resist?
Let's face it - riding a motorcycle is FUN but it sure ain't safe! Since I personally subscribe to Smitty901's adage - "You can't live life on the porch!", what can you do?
You can make it safer by awareness coupled with skills (Mr. Porter mentions MSF which is fantastic!), ATGATT, practice/experience, and good judgment. You just can't eliminate the possibility of a mechanical failure, though (ie, flat tire at speed), or a damned deer sneaking up on you from behind, so you'll never take risk to zero.
The cold hard stats (from a 2009 Insurance Institute for Highway Safety report):
- Fatality accident rates per 100k miles are 5 times greater for m/c's than for cars.
- Slightly fewer than half of all motorcycle fatalities were single vehicle accidents - nobody else's fault.
- Roughly half of those involved speeding
- Roughly 40% of those involved alcohol
- Roughly half of the multi-vehicle motorcycle fatalities were the result of another vehicle turning left across the bike's path (failure to yield followed by inability to avoid)
Sorry for sounding like such a jerk, and I'll get down off my soap box now, but I really, really, really want you to enjoy riding - and live to tell the tales!
Dan