Ty
Elio Addict
How do you get a baby into a bowl? You use the blender.
How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Chips.
How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Chips.
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Ty
Elio Addict
LOL... Hardly. One of my kids told me that joke. Not that you needed to know that. If you are looking for porn and end up on an Elio forum... maybe you should evaluate your search terms, right?
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands" 
Someone scribbled: I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself !
Someone scribbled: I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself !
ross
Elio Addict
Here I sit broken hearted
tried to shit but only farted
yesterday I missed my chance
tried to fart and shit my pants.
tried to shit but only farted
yesterday I missed my chance
tried to fart and shit my pants.
ross
Elio Addict
A guy walks into a hardware store and a twenty something salesgirl approaches him and asks 'what can I help you with today?' He says 'I'm looking for a file.' 'Well' she says 'our files are over here. What kind of file are you looking for?' He says 'a flat bastard.' 'Hey hey hey' she says 'this is a nice, family owned store and we don't approve of that kind of language.' 'No,' he says 'that's the kind of file this is, see it says right here at the base, this is a flat bastard file.' 'Oh, ok' she says, the man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that day another man walks in and tells her he's looking for a file, wanting to impress him with her new found knowledge she asks 'are you looking for a flat bastard? 'No,' he says 'give me one of those round mother Fers.'
<edited for profanity>
<edited for profanity>
Last edited by a moderator:
Mel
Elio Addict
Know what kind of M&Ms Tattoo likes?
"The Plain, The Plain!"
"The Plain, The Plain!"
Last entry was 2 weeks ago, time to fix it.
A plastered man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is a fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.
His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and says, "Grandpa, you're drunk... Go home!"
A plastered man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is a fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.
His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and says, "Grandpa, you're drunk... Go home!"
larryboy
Elio Addict
The following joke is intended only for those who are familiar with WWI and WWII military aircraft.
From an interview with the highest scoring WWII Norweigian Ace:
Interviewer: " I am speaking with Mr. Ole Olsen of WWII fame. Tell me, Mr. Olsen what was your most exciting aerial combat?"
Mr. Olsen: " Vell, vun day I vas flying along at about 10,000 feet and I looked behind me and der ver dese tree Fokkers..."
Interviewer: "Wait Ole, the Fokker was a WWI aircraft. You probably saw Messerschmitts.
Mr. Olsen: "Ya sure, da Fokkers vas flying Messerschmitts!
From an interview with the highest scoring WWII Norweigian Ace:
Interviewer: " I am speaking with Mr. Ole Olsen of WWII fame. Tell me, Mr. Olsen what was your most exciting aerial combat?"
Mr. Olsen: " Vell, vun day I vas flying along at about 10,000 feet and I looked behind me and der ver dese tree Fokkers..."
Interviewer: "Wait Ole, the Fokker was a WWI aircraft. You probably saw Messerschmitts.
Mr. Olsen: "Ya sure, da Fokkers vas flying Messerschmitts!