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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Keith Dahl, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    In the darkness of the all but empty theater balcony, the couple embraced so passionately the man’s toupee slid from his head.
    Probing to find it in the darkness, he reached under his date’s skirt.

    “That’s it, that’s it!” she gasped.

    “It can’t be,” the fellow whispered back, “I part mine on the side.”
     
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  2. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    In these trying times it's important that we all remain vigilant!:D:p



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  3. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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  4. ehwatt

    ehwatt Elio Addict

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  5. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
    The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
    The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."
    The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."
    After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
    "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her
    blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
    Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
    The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."
    The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
    The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit.":D



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  6. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    Ok folks, once again in the spirit of a public service message I'm offering advice on how to avoid touching your face during these highly infectious times!;)
    jalapena training vegetables.jpg :p
    Fer you Yankee boyz n gurlz we call these "Cactus Berries" :D


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  7. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    And now for something completely different...:rolleyes:
    fairy tale_short.jpg :p


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  8. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money.

    The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank.

    Which one does he end up marrying?

    The one with the biggest boobs.
     
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  9. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A man goes to a bar, and sees a large girl dancing on a table.

    He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

    She's flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

    The man says, "Oh, definitely! Most tables would've collapsed by now." ……………………...:drum:
     
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  10. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    Damn skippy... tell em Dark Knight biff, bam etc...
    batman corona psa.jpg
    Caped Crusader public service announcement!


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