1. Welcome to Elio Owners! Join today, registration is easy!

    You can register using your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account, just click here.
  2. Hate the new look? Click Here to learn how to go back to the old one!

Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Keith Dahl, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. W. WIllie

    W. WIllie Elio Addict

    Messages:
    1,636
    Likes Received:
    1,863
    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2014
    Location:
    Campo Ca.
    Reservation #:
    10,840
    Where are the "cobwebs" icon?
     
  2. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    10,334
    Likes Received:
    15,627
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Location:
    Battle Ground WA
    Cobwebs ..... we don't have no stinking cobwebs here....

    I met a fairy today. She said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.

    "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."

    "Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets it's head out of it's ass!"

    "You crafty little bastard," said the fairy.
     
    hawg_ryder likes this.
  3. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

    Messages:
    547
    Likes Received:
    1,714
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Location:
    S.E. Texas (Gulf Coast)
    Reservation #:
    10251
    :D
    ammo discontinued by walmart.jpg :eek:



    :cool:_hr
     
    BigWarpGuy and Coss like this.
  4. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    10,334
    Likes Received:
    15,627
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Location:
    Battle Ground WA
    Two young fellows decided to open a microbrewery in the foothills.
    After several years of careful work they produced a product with a golden strawlike color and a good strong flavor of hops.

    They sent it to the chemical lab at the State Department of Food Safety and after waiting impatiently for three weeks the lab analysis came back.

    "Dear Sirs... Our analysis of the sample sent to us indicates that your horse has diabetes." .............:deadhorse:...............:drum:........:der:
     
    hawg_ryder and Slarteebarrfast like this.
  5. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    10,334
    Likes Received:
    15,627
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Location:
    Battle Ground WA
    The attractive young college junior was filing a report with the campus police regarding her encounter with an exhibitionist.

    “Those nuts always seem to bother the nicest, most innocent girls,” one officer said sympathetically.
    “I’m terribly sorry you were exposed to this experience.”

    “Oh, that’s all right,” said the undergrad. “It was really no big thing.”
     
    hawg_ryder, R and Slarteebarrfast like this.
  6. Mel

    Mel Elio Addict

    Messages:
    537
    Likes Received:
    1,111
    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2015
    Location:
    North Texas
    Reservation #:
    16093
    I decided to start a business raising chickens. I bought 500 baby chicks and planted them feet first. They all died. I then bought 500 more baby chicks and planted them head first. They all died. I called A&M and to discuss my problem.
    Their response was, "We can't do anything until you send us a soil sample!"
     
    Slarteebarrfast likes this.
  7. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    10,334
    Likes Received:
    15,627
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Location:
    Battle Ground WA
    BOOOOO Baby chicken killer booo hisssss
     
    BigWarpGuy likes this.
  8. W. WIllie

    W. WIllie Elio Addict

    Messages:
    1,636
    Likes Received:
    1,863
    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2014
    Location:
    Campo Ca.
    Reservation #:
    10,840
    Guess he was trying to grow "Chicken Nuggests".
     
  9. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

    Messages:
    547
    Likes Received:
    1,714
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Location:
    S.E. Texas (Gulf Coast)
    Reservation #:
    10251
    Please! It'd be high-larious :D
    Antifa invades Sturgis.jpg



    :cool:_hr
     
    NSTG8R, BigWarpGuy and Coss like this.
  10. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    10,334
    Likes Received:
    15,627
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Location:
    Battle Ground WA
    A man was having a drink in a bar. Beside him was his small yellow dog. Soon another man with a dog came in.
    This man had a large pit bull and taunted the first man to have the dogs scrap outside for $50.

    Finally the man with the small yellow dog agreed. They went outside and the small dog completely pulverized the pit bull.
    After paying the $50 the owner of the pit bull asked what kind of dog the yellow dog was.

    The winner said, "Before I cut off his tail and painted him yellow, he was an alligator." ...................:dance:............:drum:
     
    NSTG8R and hawg_ryder like this.

Share This Page