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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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Ohh that Flame-to reminds me of a minor fender bender I had some years back, I had heard the stories, but never believed them, until the day it happened. I had just rear ended a Flame-to and the little munch-kin of a car caught fire, I backed up away from it and the fire started growing, the guy was still in the car,
I jumped out, ran up to him and pulled him out, he starts bitching at me, and I turn him around and yell "look at your car" by this time it was a pretty sizable Fire,
Thank goodness someone had called the fire department, and they were just pulling up. He started singing a different tune by than, and said "it's my buddies car". I gave him my info, and never heard from him again......I guess he wasn't really good friends with the guy that owned the car.
I jumped out, ran up to him and pulled him out, he starts bitching at me, and I turn him around and yell "look at your car" by this time it was a pretty sizable Fire,
Thank goodness someone had called the fire department, and they were just pulling up. He started singing a different tune by than, and said "it's my buddies car". I gave him my info, and never heard from him again......I guess he wasn't really good friends with the guy that owned the car.
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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A teacher in a kindergarten school was asking the little kids to tell her the uses of light.
Bernard said, "We use it to see in the evening when the sun sets."
Gerard said, "It is useful so that we can read in the evening."
Luc said, "We need it for TV and radio etc."
After all kids said what they thought, little timid Isabelle raised her hand. "Yes, Isabelle, what else we use the light for?"
"We eat it," said Isabelle.
"What do you mean, honey?"
"I'm not really sure. But I heard my mother saying to my father last night, 'Switch the light off and put it in my mouth.'”
Bernard said, "We use it to see in the evening when the sun sets."
Gerard said, "It is useful so that we can read in the evening."
Luc said, "We need it for TV and radio etc."
After all kids said what they thought, little timid Isabelle raised her hand. "Yes, Isabelle, what else we use the light for?"
"We eat it," said Isabelle.
"What do you mean, honey?"
"I'm not really sure. But I heard my mother saying to my father last night, 'Switch the light off and put it in my mouth.'”
One day, a very attractive undergraduate visited the professor's office.
The undergraduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc.
Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass your course.
It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest."
The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?"
To which the undergraduate cooed, "Yes, anything you say."
After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?"
The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then."
The professor then advised,
"Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don't you attend that." ..................
The undergraduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc.
Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass your course.
It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest."
The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?"
To which the undergraduate cooed, "Yes, anything you say."
After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?"
The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then."
The professor then advised,
"Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don't you attend that." .........
.........
What’s the difference between a woman and a cat?
One is a finicky eater who doesn’t care if you live or die.
The other is a house pet. .................................
One is a finicky eater who doesn’t care if you live or die.
The other is a house pet. .................
................
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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