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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Coss

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Ever have one of those perfectly timed quips? Feels good, right. This just happened. Seriously.

Coworker: You can get Jenny from Jennifer and Kate from Catherine and I can see Nate from Nathanial but how do you get Dick from Richard?
Me: Get him a little drunk?
And you still have a job? If they call you down to HR tomorrow .... :shocked: then deny everything :doh:
 

Ty

Elio Addict
A man and his wife are walking down the street when the wife turns to her husband and says, "Honey I think it's snowing". The man looks back at her and says, "No, it's raining". To settle their debate, they decided to ask the friendly redcoat at the end of the street. The redcoat, Rudolph, says that it is in fact raining. The man turned back to his wife and said, "See, Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"
 

Coss

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
:rain:
Groan.png
:smow:
 

ross

Elio Addict
A frog goes in to a bank looking for a loan, he goes up a loan officer named Patty Black and she tells him that he needs some sort of collateral, he pulls a figurine out of his pocket and gives it to her, she tells the frog she needs to talk to the branch manager, she goes into the managers office shows him the figurine and says 'a frog just came into the bank wanting a loan using this as collateral and I don't even know what it is.' The manager takes one look at it and says 'that's a nick nack Patty Black, give the frog a loan.'
 

larryboy

Elio Addict
Several hookers are sitting around talking and one makes the claim that she can tell a customers job just by talking to them. The others ask for proof. She says " my last customer was a farmer. First he said it costs too much and then he said it was too dry. Then he said it was too wet and when we were all done he wanted a free cap!"
 

Coss

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Courtesy my 14 yo. daughter (who wants an Elio, btw):

What if rocks are actually soft but they tense up when you touch them?
Every time my kitten brings one in I wonder the same thing.
 
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