Funny Or Dumb Things You've Actually Heard Or Seen Done Relating To Cars.

[Bamdalam]

Daughter had ["had" thankfully being the operative word!] a BF that used to work on her Jeep for her. Made me cringe every time my wife called me at work to let me know he was at our house to borrow tools to do "fill in the blank" to Janell's Jeep. Simple oil change on this day, what could go wrong? An hour later he comes walking into the house proclaiming that the tranny in the Jeep is shot! Well My wife's no slouch when it comes to mechanical things and said to him, "What'd you do?! Drain the tranny and put 6 more quarts in the engine?" He rolled his eyes at her and said, "Do I look like a dumba$$?" My wife, who never liked the guy any way said, "Yep!" she went out to the drive way, slid under the Jeep and pointed out where the oil pan drain plug was for him and that he had indeed drained the tranny and stuck 6 more quarts of oil in the engine. Wife couldn't wait to call me at work and tell me about it.

Did the same thing myself, being to mechanical genius I am. But on a funnier note, in high school around here, cruising was VERY popular. So I drained my washer fluid reservoir and filled it with tap water.. Then mounted the nozzle to shoot straight into the car's open window directly next to me. Please understand, it was common fun to shoot each other with squirt guns for fun while cruising slowly back then, so I took it up a notch! Maybe the first Super Soaker?

 

[Coss]

Ty you mentioned the oil change bit, I had a friend that had a VW bug; he told me he was going to change his own oil. I went over his house that night to find out how he did. I pulled up and here he is with about 14 empty oil cans and a flashlight just bitching at his bug. I asked what he was doing and he goes "I keep pouring oil in here and it's not filling up <looking down the fill tube w/the light>.
I asked how many he put in, and he starts counting the cans around him.
"18" he says, I just looked at him and replied "it only takes 3.5" he says "I did that, and couldn't see the oil at the base of the tube, so I put more in" "remember you put that Hot Rod motor in here" (new cylinders, pistons and twin Stromberg's"
We took the next hour draining the oil out, pouring it through cheese cloths till we got 4 qts. and started over.

I told him it's a good thing you didn't try to start it; you'd probably fry the starter.
He got beet red and said very quietly, "I did" and "I think I broke it too, it wouldn't turn over"
"Duh! you dumb MF you had the motor in hydrostatic lock". Pulled the starter out and there are no teeth on the gear.
He bought a new starter and we put that in too. It just had this "dead" spot in the flywheel.
So I taught him how to always park on a downhill.

 

[W. WIllie]

I had a "old lady" that brought her car in for "routine maintenance", every month on the same monthly date for work,
because she said that was her routine schedule, no matter if it was 100 miles or 1,000. She even insisted the air in her tires be changed because it was "stale".
I gave her a lot of free work/time just to keep her happy.

 

[Bert]

Oh where to start. I've had a lot of strange things happen. From the "bad thump" in the rear end that ended up being a bowling ball rolling around in the trunk, to The "bad burning smell", which was a cooked snake on the exhaust manifold.
My own Mother used to laugh when her dog "marked" her car by peeing on the tires. Right up until she had a flat one night and discovered the rim and lug nuts had rusted to the hub and studs.
I HAVE had a person walk into the shop, asking for a new 710 cap..
I once used Wifeys pantyhose to hold a tie rod end together in order to get back to town. (No, she wasn't still wearing them)
Speaking of Wifey, she had a flat on the rear of her car and decided she's change it herself, as I'd shown her how easy it was to take off tires for replacement. She got it changed, but noticed a gas smell as she put the old tire and jack back into the car. I took a look when I got home, only to see she'd placed the jack right under the gas tank when she'd changed the tire. (1971 Ford Pinto)
I once had a customer come in and blame me for breaking her radio. After listening to her scream for a few minutes I followed her out to her car, started it, and pushed the power button on same said radio. I didn't charge her for repairing her radio.
There's more, but I"m still laughing just thinking about these ones..

 

[aknaten]

Owned a red 63 VW bug when I was in college. The girl I was dating (now my 1st and only wife) used it to travel around the area looking for places to "park". The previous evening we had seen Marlon Brando in The Wild One at the college film series. That summer evening I decided to drive out to my grandparents farm, which was on a dead-end road. No one lived out there and any working farmer would be home in town. On the way out there a band of ruffians riding motorcycles passed us and disappeared over the hill in a cloud of dust and the rumble of healthy Harleys. I took the turn-off and drove for a few miles until I came a pasture overlooking the river. It was about sundown. Things were peaceful for awhile. Soon the windows fogged over but we were too occupied to notice. All off a sudden out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark shape outside the windows. Then the little VW began to move from side to side and it wasn't caused by us. Fear struck me as I imagined those Harley riders had found us and we were doomed. WE WERE DOOMED. With trepidation I rolled the window down and . . . It was a couple of cows rubbing against the car.

 

[Ty]

I had a clutch cable break in my '85 Mustang once. I had to shift without it which isn't a problem till you are stopped. I'd have to completely stop with the car in neutral, shut the engine off, shift into first, and sit till the light turned green at which point, I'd start the car while in first gear and have the starter pull the whole car along till it started at which point, it was simply shifting without a clutch. What a pain. The clutch cable wasn't too bad to replace at least.

My Brother had a '46 Ford and the headlight fuse went out. He didn't have a replacement so used a .22 cartridge. A non-fired .22 cartridge. At least it didn't blow on his way home. Another time, when he was younger, he took a .22 cartridge and was beating it with a rock to get the powder out when it went off. luckily, he wasn't hurt. You'd think from that, he'd learn not to mess with them. This same brother managed to flip Dad's '84 Berlinetta Camaro by falling off a bridge on a dirt road. The car ended on it's top next to the bridge. Later, he flipped his '46 Ford truck in a 45 MPG zone. He said he was passing a guy and clipped the guys' front bumper. Whatever, Dave... whatever.

 

[floydv]

When I got my smart in 2008, I was filling it at a gas station and a nice lady yelled out her car window, "Is that an electric car?"

 

[wizard of ahs]

When I got my smart in 2008, I was filling it at a gas station and a nice lady yelled out her car window, "Is that an electric car?"

Still happens to me

 

[Critter]

An old neighbor gave me an old 1952 buick special. Bad transmission. But he had 3 transmissions for us to use as parts to make one work. After 2 months of working on it. Had it all back together and taking it off the jackstands. My cousin, a transmission mechanic, came by to offer assistance. He saw 3 five gallon buckets of parts, and asked what they were. I told him they appeared be parts that did not do anything so i left them out !

 

[Critter]

When driving to my neighbors in that buick. He was telling stories till late and it was quite dark. We discovered the headlight switch did not work. I sat on the hood and held the hood ornament like a saddle horn. Holding a flood light, He drove the Buick back to my house. About 2 miles away.