hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Good advice!
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Lil' Johnny strikes again!
The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.
Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good", said the teacher.
Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines," she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.
"$2,467,” he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes", echoed the teacher. "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing; "Hey kid, this tastes like dog shit!" I would say, "It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
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The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.
Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good", said the teacher.
Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines," she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.
"$2,467,” he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes", echoed the teacher. "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing; "Hey kid, this tastes like dog shit!" I would say, "It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
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A 5-years-old was visiting his grandmother. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting.
He looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
The religious programs make me fell good and the comedies make me laugh. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
When grandma turned on the TV, the reception was terrible.
She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood grandma's minister.
The minister said, "Hello son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah she’s in the bedroom banging her boyfriend"
The minister fainted.
He looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
The religious programs make me fell good and the comedies make me laugh. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
When grandma turned on the TV, the reception was terrible.
She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood grandma's minister.
The minister said, "Hello son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah she’s in the bedroom banging her boyfriend"
The minister fainted.
Ever notice how womens worst problems can mainly be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMorrhoids…
MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMorrhoids…
Made in USA
Elio Addict
Don't forget: HISterectomy, HISteria,
From female gender we get: HERpies, HERnias
From female gender we get: HERpies, HERnias
Ty
Elio Addict
and, you can't spell Hero without Her!
Mel
Elio Addict
Ty
Elio Addict
O how true,
O geezz what did I start here.
O geezz what did I start here.