Sorry, with that statement I said I was done with politics, and I meant it.Coss, Choose the lesser evil and pick a side, otherwise independent have no hope of winning!
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
A man is driving along and a police man stops him and says, "Alcohol, drugs?"
And the man says, "No thanks officer, I've got everything."
Then he drives off.
And the man says, "No thanks officer, I've got everything."
Then he drives off.
A very handsome man at a singles bar is sitting at a prime location having a drink.
During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks in, with no luck.
Then a repulsively ugly man comes in, sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women.
Minutes later he walks out with two of the most beautiful women you ever saw.
Disheartened by all this, the good looking guy calls the bartender and says, “Excuse me, but do you know that man’s secret?
I mean, he’s not what you’d call attractive, in fact he’s ugly as sin, and yet the ladies adore him.
I’m everything a girl could want but I haven’t been able to score all night. What’s going on?”
“Well,” said the bartender, “I don’t know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night."
"He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows.”
During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks in, with no luck.
Then a repulsively ugly man comes in, sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women.
Minutes later he walks out with two of the most beautiful women you ever saw.
Disheartened by all this, the good looking guy calls the bartender and says, “Excuse me, but do you know that man’s secret?
I mean, he’s not what you’d call attractive, in fact he’s ugly as sin, and yet the ladies adore him.
I’m everything a girl could want but I haven’t been able to score all night. What’s going on?”
“Well,” said the bartender, “I don’t know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night."
"He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows.”
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
My New Year Diet Resolution!
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Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital, a Catholic hospital, and taken quickly in for coronary surgery.
The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting, reassured him by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand.
"We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun questioned sternly.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."
The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting, reassured him by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand.
"We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun questioned sternly.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Wise decision!
I went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Jack Daniels and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself... if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the Jack Daniels before I cycled home.
It turned out to be an excellent decision because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
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I went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Jack Daniels and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself... if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the Jack Daniels before I cycled home.
It turned out to be an excellent decision because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
_hr
Jambe
Elio Addict
Many of us are locked in at $7,000 but Paul still has the right to make changes to the design of the Elio. He has decided that in order to make a profit he must do some redesigning. This is the newest design...
Made in USA
Elio Addict
I really like the "high" speed spoiler on the back. Bet you would get airborne ever time you hit a bump.
Ummmm where's the third wheel? Or at least idler wheels front and rear for stopping and taking off (going) or its got one hell of a gyroscope for balance.
Made in USA
Elio Addict
It's a sit-down enclosed Segway. Would work but only at low speeds.