Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

One day a man goes to visit his doctor and asks, “Do you have any pesticide condoms?”

The doctor says, "You mean spermicidal?"

"No," the man says, "I mean pesticide because my wife has a bug up her ass and I’m going in after it." ................

 

[hawg_ryder]

Awwww



_hr

 

[Coss]

The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class, "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"

Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. She said, "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal."

The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer. Lily put up her hand. "Yes, Lily?"

"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."

"Very good. Thanks, Lily," said the male teacher. He then turned to the first girl, who had threatened to complain to her parents and principal. He said, "Well, Mary, I have three things to tell you. First, you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a DIRTY mind. And third, I fear, one day, you are going to be sadly disappointed."

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[Coss]

A cannibal father and son were walking through the jungle when they saw a pretty and naked blond run by.

The son said, "Dad, let's track her down, kill her, and then and eat her!"

The dad replied, "No, let's track her down, take her home, and then eat your Mother!" ...............................

 

[Coss]

Two cannibals are sharing their prey. One said to the other, "I'll start at the feet up and you start from the head down. We will meet in the middle."

After a while one says to the other, "How are you doing so far?"

"I’m having a ball!" the other replied.

"Slow down, you're eating too fast!" ....................................................................................................................

 

[Coss]

It was a surprise party for one of the girls in the office who was leaving to get married.
Most of the other girls wanted to know if the prospective groom was a man of means.

“Well,” said the bride-to-be, “he surprised me by saying we were going to spend our honeymoon in France.”

The gals tittered excitedly. “How did he spring it on you?” they asked anxiously.

“Well, we were discussing it,” she replied, “When he said as soon as we were married he would show me where he was wounded in the war.”

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr