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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

NSTG8R

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I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
 

Coss

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Coss

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A woman goes into an antique shop and says to the owner, "When I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I'd like to buy it."
"Sorry," replied the owner, "but I can't sell you that."
"Why not?" asked the customer.
"Because that's my husband."
 

Ty

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Actually, it's a smart-ass raccoon, a big dumb walking talking tree [Vin Diesel]. Chris Pine is the main character and is funny as h*ll. It is an AWESOME movie, and I'll bet you watch it twice! I even bought the soundtrack CD and play it regularly.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2015381/
Chris Pratt (from Parks and Rec) is the main character. It IS a pretty funny movie though.
 
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