Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Hootersnoocher]

Ok, I'll explain. First Marine has been a Marine for about 10 minutes. He is already telling people junior to him that the ale was much better in "the old corps". I guess you have to have been around some Marines. Or appreciate irony.

Have to be A Marine. Got that in the first reading, Semper Fi?

 

[larryboy]

Have to be A Marine. Got that in the first reading, Semper Fi?

Nope, USN but I have had a lot of interaction w/ Marines over the years (all good) Semper Fortis!

 

[Rob Croson]

Have to be A Marine. Got that in the first reading, Semper Fi?

Nah, this is a common attitude of all servicemen. It was always better in the good old days. Your last command was always better than the current one. (Or more screwed up, if the conversation is about how screwed up the current command is...)

 

[larryboy]

Nah, this is a common attitude of all servicemen. It was always better in the good old days. Your last command was always better than the current one. (Or more screwed up, if the conversation is about how screwed up the current command is...)

There are only two good duty stations. The one you were at before and the one you are going to when you get orders out of this shithole!

 

[Coss]

DUHHH!!!!!! There have been so many posts out of place, and this one is just adding to the confusion.

I guess I'll just go back to my corner and take it all in.
Wake me when you need me ........

 

[Ty]

There are only two good duty stations. The one you were at before and the one you are going to when you get orders out of this shithole!

I think you have that figured out quite nicely!

 

[Lil4X]

. . . and when you fill out your "dream sheet" of preferred duty stations, you can be sure those are the ones you won't get. After too many years at sea, I opted for "NAS Backyard". Only if they can get my house away from the pier will I go. My chief once said that he was going to retire, go to the nearest sporting goods store and buy an oar. He'd sling it over his shoulder and walk inland until somebody asked him "Hey, what's THAT thing?" That's where he'd make his home.

 

[Uncle Charlie]

A young mother took her baby to the pediatrician as the child wouldn't stop crying. The doctor took a brief look and knew immediately what was wrong as the diaper hadn't been changed it seemed in days. The doctor tried to explain to the mother that the diaper has to be changed every time it is soiled. The mother was clearly confused and said, "but the packaging says the diaper will hold up to 12 pounds!"

 

[Ty]

What's the difference between a joke and a hypothetical question?

 

[Johnny Acree]

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."