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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Coss

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The new neighborhood supermarket has an automatic water mister to Keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.





I don't buy toilet paper there any more!
 

Mel

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baiting deer sign.jpg
 

Elio Amazed

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HAHhahahahahhhhaaaa yyyyaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Since we're here, can you re-post the one about the government and protection? :becky:
Don't get the wrong impression. My comments were entirely tongue in cheek... I loved it!
 
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Coss

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A penguin is driving on a real hot day and suddenly his car starts acting up.
He pulls into the first station he sees, and while the mechanic checks the car, he goes to the Ice Cream Parlor across the street.

He gets a big cone, he makes a big mess with his flippers.
There is ice cream all over his face.
He walks back across the street to check on his car. He asks the mechanic, " We'll, what does it look like?"

The Mechanic replies, " It looks like you have blown a seal."

Penguin says, " Oh No! It's ice cream, REALLY!"
 

Uncle Charlie

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A snail went to a car dealership and bought a sports car. He asked the dealer to customize the car with a capital letter S on the door, he explained that he wanted the world to know that he was the world's fastest snail. Anyway, one day in traffic he was stopped at red light. A couple cute blondes pulled up next to him. Showing off, he stomped on the gas when the light turned green. One blonde said to the other, "Wow! Look at that S car go!"
 

Coss

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A snail went to a car dealership and bought a sports car. He asked the dealer to customize the car with a capital letter S on the door, he explained that he wanted the world to know that he was the world's fastest snail. Anyway, one day in traffic he was stopped at red light. A couple cute blondes pulled up next to him. Showing off, he stomped on the gas when the light turned green. One blonde said to the other, "Wow! Look at that S car go!"
Whoa .... that was bad ..... :confused: as in, I doubt I would ever repeat it.
 
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