Doug McDow
Elio Addict
I showed it to my wife, and all she said was (Oh Dear)
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Was that "oh Dear" and you take off to the other room?
Or was it
"OH DEAR" and she was ready to smack you?
Or was it
"OH DEAR" and she was ready to smack you?
Old business man to a beautiful young model, "Would you consider sleeping with me for a million dollars?"
“Hmmm. Yes, I think I would," she says.
"Well," he says, "how about five dollars then?"
“How dare you! What sort of girl do you think I am?”
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"Honey, we’ve already established that."
"Now we are just fixing on the price." ..................
“Hmmm. Yes, I think I would," she says.
"Well," he says, "how about five dollars then?"
“How dare you! What sort of girl do you think I am?”
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"Honey, we’ve already established that."
"Now we are just fixing on the price." ..................
Doug McDow
Elio Addict
I think. I am getting smacked!
Let me steer it in a different direction then, can't have household unrest do to simple jokes then;
So let's see, yeah, I've got one for you:
Two older women meet at bingo.
"You're late this week Ethel," says one woman to the other.
"Did you come on the bus?"
"Yes," replied Ethel, "but I managed to pass it off as an asthma attack!"
So let's see, yeah, I've got one for you:
Two older women meet at bingo.
"You're late this week Ethel," says one woman to the other.
"Did you come on the bus?"
"Yes," replied Ethel, "but I managed to pass it off as an asthma attack!"
Johnny Acree
Elio Addict
- Joined
- May 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,529
- Reaction score
- 2,573
A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me.
What is the difference between a pig and a fox?
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About 5 or 6 beers!
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About 5 or 6 beers!
A private eye is showing Stanley movies of Mrs. Stanley in bed with other men.
She's on the beach, at a football game during halftime, and all kinds of crazy places doing just about everything.
After viewing all this Stanley says, “I refuse to believe it!”
The private eye rather mortified says, “What? You think I rigged the evidence?”
Stanley says, “No, of course not. I just can’t believe my wife could be so much fun."
She's on the beach, at a football game during halftime, and all kinds of crazy places doing just about everything.
After viewing all this Stanley says, “I refuse to believe it!”
The private eye rather mortified says, “What? You think I rigged the evidence?”
Stanley says, “No, of course not. I just can’t believe my wife could be so much fun."
Frim
Elio Addict
What is the difference between a pig and a fox?
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About 5 or 6 beers![/QUOTE
I did that one time. (Only one time).