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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Keith Dahl, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    Sign above urinal:

    If your hose is short and your pump is weak…

    Better stand close or you'll piss on your feet. :confused:

    :drum:
     
    NSTG8R, hawg_ryder and CheeseheadEarl like this.
  2. Ty

    Ty Elio Addict

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    I found this sign at Burger King. I pushed the button like it shows... Where is my bacon? IMG_20190612_134940.jpg
     
  3. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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  4. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A man has to take a business trip overseas so he entrusts his best friend with the job of keeping an eye on his wife.

    If anything out of the ordinary should occur, his friend was to notify him immediately.
    After about a week with no contact, the businessman received a telegram containing only one sentence...

    “The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn’t show up yesterday.”

    :drum:
     
  5. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    Yikes! :eek:

    Bird w-knife.jpg


    :cool:_hr
     
    Coss likes this.
  6. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A couple is being interviewed by the local newspaper on the occasion of their golden wedding anniversary.

    “In all these years, did you ever consider divorce?” the reporter asks.

    “Oh, no, not divorce,” they reply as one. “Murder sometimes, but never divorce.”
     
    BigWarpGuy likes this.
  7. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    Bill and Doug were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. "What's the matter?" asked Bill of his buddy. "You look kind of down."

    "My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin."

    "Why's that?"

    "Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a disaster."
     
    hawg_ryder likes this.
  8. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    I would too! ;)

    Jeep Warrior.jpg


    :cool:_hr
     
    Coss likes this.

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