Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

A man comes home from work early...

Discovers that his wife is giving the paperboy a BJ. ...................................

He starts screaming at her, “How could you give the paperboy a BJ when it’s the milkman we owe?!?!" .......................

 

[Coss]

A couple goes to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.

“I’ll have the biggest, juiciest steak on the menu,” says the husband.

"But sir, what about the mad cow?” asks the waiter.

“Oh,” says the man, “she’ll order for herself.”.......................................................................

 

[Coss]

Two ministers are talking about the immorality of the country today, and one of them says,
“I didn’t sleep with my wife before I was married. How about you?”

And the other says, “I don’t know. What was her maiden name?" ....................................................

 

[Coss]

Little Johnny attends a horse auction with his father. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse,
running his hands up and down the horses’ legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asks, “Dad, why are you doing that?”

"Because when I’m buying horses, I first have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape.”

Johnny, looking worried, says, “Dad, I think the gardener wants to buy Mom.” ..........................

 

[Coss]

An elderly couple went for a routine medical examination. The doctor first examines the husband and says, “You look fine.
Do you have any problem?"

Husband says, "It's nothing serious Doc, but the first we make love it is OK. The second time, however, I sweat hell of a lot."

The doctor then examines the wife and finds her to be okay. After the examination, he says, “You look fine.
Your husband was saying that the first time both of you make love, it is fine but the second time he starts sweating. Do you know why?"

The wife replies, "But of course Doctor. The first time we do it is in December and the second time is in June." .......................

 

[hawg_ryder]

WHY GRANDPA'S ARE DIFFERENT
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:
There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends.
Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed.
Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed.
"Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.
Not really, PaPa, it was boring,
We didn't see a single asshole, piece's of shit, horse's ass', blind bastards, dip shits, or sum bitches anywhere we went!"
We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw.
I really didn't have any fun.




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[hawg_ryder]

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[Coss]

Awww I wanted to do a couple of them like Wow, and Laugh, and Liked it but it won't let me (damn it all to hell) oh well something else for the higher ups to work on. Those were Great Hawg_ryder

 

[hawg_ryder]

Awww I wanted to do a couple of them like Wow, and Laugh, and Liked it but it won't let me (damn it all to hell) oh well something else for the higher ups to work on. Those were Great Hawg_ryder

Thanks Coss... we do what we kin...

 

[Coss]

“How did this accident occur?” asked the doctor.

“Well,” explained the patient, “I was making love to my girlfriend on the living room rug when,
all of a sudden, the chandelier came crashing down on us.”

“Fortunately, you’ve only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks,” the doctor said. “You are a very lucky man.”

“You said it, doc,” exclaimed the man. “A minute sooner and it could have fractured my skull!” ................................