Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight................................................

 

[Coss]

A man had just opened a restaurant but he couldn't think of a name. So he decided to name it after the third person that walks in.

The third person walks in and the guy asked for her name. She said, "Jill."

"Well Jill, you have nice legs!"

So the guy named the restaurant "Jill's Legs." A week later a drunk was laying on the sidewalk outside the restaurant
when a police officer asked him what he was doing.

He replied, "I'm waiting for Jill's Legs to open so I can get a bite to eat."................................................................................

 

[hawg_ryder]

Meanwhile back in Texas!

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[JEBar]

If You Recognize Any Of These 50 Pictures, I'm Sorry, You're Officially Old ===> https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/old-picture-test

yep, I'm old .... I remember them all ..

 

[W. WIllie]

Aw yes..... good memories of the simpler life.

 

[hawg_ryder]

If You Recognize Any Of These 50 Pictures, I'm Sorry, You're Officially Old ===> https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/old-picture-test

yep, I'm old .... I remember them all ..

Me too! Except I remember paying 17 cents a gallon for regular during a "gas war"...

 

[hawg_ryder]

and now you have to download the manual online as a .PDF file...

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[hawg_ryder]

Oh yeah!

_hr

 

[Coss]

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?"

He answered, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway... "Never got caught." ............................................................................

 

[Coss]

A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. And the bum says, “Mister, do you have a dollar you could spare me?”

The man thinks about the question for a bit and asks the bum, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to by liquor?”

“No,” says the bum.

The man then asks the bum, “If I five you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?”

Again the bum says, “No.”

So the man says to the bum. “Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn’t drink or gamble?”