Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Mel]

Then there was the lady who was pulled over for not wearing her seat belt. She quickly put it on as the officer approached the car.
The officer asked for her driver's license and insurance and stated, "I see that you are wearing your seat belt, Ma'am." She answered, "Oh Yes, I ALWAYS wear my seat belt!" Whereupon the officer asked, "Do you always wear it looped through the steering wheel like that?"

 

[Coss]

The definitive answer to the age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and here is the reason for that conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you NEVER hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

 

[Doug McDow]

The definitive answer to the age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and here is the reason for that conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you NEVER hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Thanks Coss

 

[Coss]

Little Johnny and his stern father are out at the park when suddenly a honeybee settles on a rock in front of them.
Just for spite, little Johnny smashed it with a rock.
At which point his father said, “That was cruel, and for being cruel you’ll get no honey for a whole year.”

Later, Little Johnny deliberately stepped on a butterfly.
“And for that, young man,” said the father, “you will not get any butter for a year.”

When they returned home, Johnny’s mother was busy fixing supper.
Just as they entered the kitchen, she spied a cockroach and immediately crushed it underfoot.

Little Johnny looked a his father and said, “Shall I tell her, Dad, or will you?”

 

[Jambe]

Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store.

I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.

I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.



It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.

She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.

With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice, “I'm a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"


I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer you got?"

 

[booboo]

What I watch while I wait for Joeker88 to post his newest video.

 

[Coss]

We've finally hit an all time low ..... sigh...

 

[W. WIllie]

IIRR......... I though in Joker88's last video post he indicated "I'm out of here:."

 

[booboo]

IIRR......... I though in Joker88's last video post he indicated "I'm out of here:."

His new, yesterday, video is really worth a new thread to comment on. Justwaiting for him to post it.

 

[Coss]

An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession.
"Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years."
'All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old."

"When was the last time you made a confession?" asked the priest.

"I never have, I am Jewish."

Caught offguard, the priest asked, "Then why are telling me all this?"

"Father, I am telling everybody!"